Dear Sasha, 

My boyfriend asked an interesting question the other day, and after almost an hour of Googling we came up with nothing to satisfy our curiosity. We figured if anyone could uncover the answer, you could! How do scat porn performers ingest feces without getting sick?

The bf has developed an interest in scat porn (a solo adventure– not really my bag) and has of late stumbled across the work of Veronica Moser. He’s told me wild tales of her eating her own shit, other people’s shit, mixing urine and feces and drinking it... all without puking.

I claim it must be a camera trick; he swears it’s not. I’ll take his word for it, but isn’t there a risk of E. coli infection? Isn’t urine lethal? How is this in any way safe for human consumption? How does she even get it down? For both of us, the smallest bit of poop on a butt toy is enough to trigger at least some gag reflex. How do these performers do it?

Two Curious

Dear Two,

In the nearly 18 years I have been writing my column, I’ve never stumbled across Veronica Moser. To say the very least, she is a piece of work. I have long used the term “shit-fucked” to describe being incredibly hung-over. Moser uses the term more liter-ally: she enjoys being fucked with shit.

People who like to eat shit do not gag because they like eating shit. That’s kind of the bottom line. If you watch this interview with Moser below – you’ll note that she trained herself to eat shit. Buckets of it, in fact.

Moser says she has, in the parlance of her native Austria, “a pig’s stomach” and claims never to have had a problem in the 10 years she’s been ingesting shit. I find this difficult to believe, since there are so many fecal-borne viruses and she seems to eat and bang plenty of random shit, but, then, Ron Jeremy claims never to have contracted an STI in his many years doing unprotected porn. Are they simply immune? Perhaps germs see them and think, “This landscape is too forebidding to pitch my tent.” Moser herself seems immune to peo-ple’s opinion of her; she’s a cheerful, pragmatic woman who found her niche in the sex trade and is simply seeing it out to the very best of her abilities. I’m sure she makes many people very happy.

By the way, urine is not lethal. Urine is, in fact, sterile until it reaches the urethra. There are people who believe that drinking their own urine has health benefits. The practice is called urotherapy. Here is an interesting article about it.

There’s some interesting information in the piece, but one glaring error, too. The author quotes Eddie from Ab Fab as saying, “It’s urotherapy, darling – it’s not to be sniffed at.” As hardcore Ab Fab fans know, and speaking of shit, it was actually colonic irrigation that was not to be sniffed at.

Dear Sasha,

My awesome wife of 10-plus years wants to sleep with women. Correction: wants us to sleep with women. This makes both of us hot and bothered, and we’re going to try a threesome. And my gal wants us to hire an escort, which I’m also cool with.

We’re trying to educate ourselves on the sex trade and have been looking at many locally based escort web-sites but don’t know how to determine if a service provider is good – specifically, doesn’t exploit vulnerable and marginalized women. We want our escort to be a willing, consenting professional. Any tips on how we can be sure that whatever providers we go with treat their employees/contractors with dignity and respect?

Lucky Boy

Dear Lucky,

You have clearly been looking for a companion through agencies like cupidsescorts.ca. Women who work through agencies only make a certain percentage of what you pay them. This is an informed choice many escorts make because they don’t want to have to screen their clients, book them, update their websites and ads and drive to and from their calls. The complaint I hear most from agency girls is that they wish they were making more money, but the facts are laid out before them. There are no hidden costs, and they can go independent if they choose. Some do, after they’ve gotten their feet wet in the business and feel comfortable enough to do all the work on their own.

Independent companions do all their own screening and booking. They choose their own web designers, their own photographers and generally write all the copy for their websites. What this means is that you can get a better sense of who they are or at least how they choose to present themselves as workers. If you’re curious about the services they offer, you may ask them directly or search the review boards for details of their services.

The review boards also contain details of agencies. CERB (The Canadian Escort Recommendation Board) and TERB (Toronto Escort Review Board) are two reputable boards. CERB calls itself a recommendation board, because, as its tag line states, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, please don’t say anything at all.”