The shouting

By JOHN HARKNESS

CANNES, FRANCE -- Every time one thinks one has heard the dumbest thing one could possibly hear at a Cannes Film Festival press conference, something comes along to top it.

At the Stardom, Quebecois Denys Arcand's new film, press conference, some reporter asked star Jessica Pare if she found it difficult to play a character who changed her clothes in every scene, to have a different look in every scene in the film. A while later, the same reporter asked director Arcand if, based on the evidence of the film, we could assume that he thought most reporters were stupid. Arcand was very diplomatic.

There's a problem of proportion in Arcand's first film in far too long. Arcand's true subject is the dangerous acceleration of the culture. But the film looks as if it's about the fashion industry and its impact on the media. To turn the satiric eye of one of Canada's most reknowned international filmmakers on something as inconsequential as the media buzz around the fashion industry is like using artillery to swat gnats.

Virtually nothing in Stardom exists in "reality". Rather, the "reality" of the film is a series of satiric jabs at various infotainment outlets and their treatment of news as if it were fashion, fashion as if it were news. Noisy VJs, airhead talkshow hosts, predatory photographers, indifferent documentarians, all in pursuit of poor Tina (Jessica Pare), a top model who wants to be left alone. Nude photos of a model on the Internet? Apparently the filmmakers have low standards for scandal. Guess they've never run across the fake Cindy Crawford blow-job picture on the web. (And I don't have a URL, so don't email me asking.)

The problem is that there's very little "satirical" in the film, for the simple reason that most of the stuff is not merely beyond satire, but beyond insult. What could Arcand and his scenarist come up with that would be more outré than Leon Talley descending from the Olympus of Vogue to judge the "braveness" of some coutourier's Spring Collection. "Fringe, my god, darlings, that makes such a brave statement!"

Why not take on something weighty, like, oh, I don't know, film festivals?

Prize Winners After 2 pm Eastern, at: http://www.festival-cannes.fr/cannes2000/va/index.html

Quote of the Day Are we having fun yet? Zippy The Pinhead

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