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Cannes Report Saturday, May 18
CANNES RAINY DAY FUNPAK!
BY JOHN HARKNESS
CANNES, France
1) Match the trade paper synopsis with the film’s country of
origin:
i) At Night In The Park -- “A heart surgeon is wrongly accused of
being a serial killer. He flees from the police and takes a
psychologist hostage.”
ii) Samsara -- “A love story, set in the Himalayas, of one man’s
struggle to find spiritual enlightenment by renouncing the world,
and one woman’s struggle to keep her enlightened love and life in
the world.”
iii) Love, Liza -- “A man is forced to confront terrible
isolation and a downward mental spiral after the unexplained
suicide of his young wife, and he goes on the road to avoid the
message in the unopened suicide note he carries in his pocket.”
iv) Hotel -- “A troupe of actors shooting a Dogme film arrive at
a peculiar hotel in Venice. The hotel staff are courteous and
polite, but somehow a bit odd. As events progress, several
stories unfold.”
v) No Blood, No Tears - “A film about two female buddies trying
to survive in the underground world of dog fighting.”
a) U.S. b) Germany c) Korea
Answers?? See bottom of article.
2. What they said and what they meant - talking Cannes be fun!
(All quotes verbatim from Screen International, Motion Pictures
International and Variety)
a) “We’d like to be involved in International co-productions with
capacity for decision on financing, content and casting.”
What they mean, of course, is that they won’t get any of those
things, though they’d certainly like to have them.
b) “Despite the acclaim and Oscar nomination for Lagaan,
audiences from outside the Indian diaspora may not be ready for
the full-length and musical qualities of Indian movies.”
What they mean, of course, is, "We can’t figure out how to sell a
four-hour movie about a cricket match with musical numbers, so
it’s the fault of the audience.”
c) Working with XXX was a unique experience. He has a profound
understanding of what the camera can do.”
What he means, of course, is that the director in question knows
nothing about what actors can do.
d)“YYY has such great presence that he required very little
direction.”
What he means, of course, is that YYY is a camera hog and a scene
thief who wouldn’t take any direction at all.
Five fun things to do on rainy days in Cannes
1) Take a walk along the Croisette Palais to Carlton in under
10 minutes. Think about how nice it looks without all the people
on it.
2) Bug people complaining about the weather by saying “This is
nothing, in 1994 it rained EVERY day,” thereby establishing your
superior Cannes credentials to them. (Just for the record, I have
no idea if it rained every day in 1994 or not.)
3) Enjoy long, long lunches while scanning the trades for ideas
about the movies you didn’t see because you slept in, then took a
long, long lunch.
4) Note that with fewer people around to soak up the moisture,
Cannes will probably be more humid this year. This is a
little-known side effect of global warming, like those gigantic
hunks of Antarctica that keep breaking off.
5) Remember that it’s possible to both light a candle and curse
the darkness.
What the heck? Just to prove that it’s not about the box office,
Lucasfilm has actually prepped a Turkish-dubbed version of SW/EP2
Attack Of The Clones for release in seven theatres in Germany.
Actual good news Geraldine Chaplin and Marin Karmetz of MK2
Films today announced a deal between the Chaplin Estate, MK2 and
Warner Home Video to bring out the restored films of Charlie
Chaplin.
Answers -- a: iii, iv; b: i, ii; c: v
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