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FRINGE SURVIVAL TIPS
'Explain to your actors that the beer tent is where you go after the show.'
- Eric Lunsky, Max Fishbaum's Theories On Love
'After seeing a friend's show that you loathed, smile and say, Well, you've done it again.'
- Alex Dallas, Nymphomania
'If your improv show bombs, blame the audience.'
- Matthew R. Lawrence, Canadian Improv Showcase
'Good meds and a therapist on speed dial.'
Stephen Sharpe, Hair Retains Odour
'Title your play Mump & Smoot Meet Michael Healey At The Sex Farm.'
- Adrian Truss, Tale Of The Scorpion
BEER TENT PICKUP LINES
'If you think this tent is big, you should see the one going up right now in my pants.'
- Eric Lunsky, Max Fishbaum's
Theories On Love
'Hey, did I see your ass on Queer As Folk?'
- The company, From Mint
Condition To Badly Used
'I have an awesome idea for a
two-hander.'
- Ginette Mohr, Cali
'I loved you in Glitter.'
- Lori Delorme/Michelle Winters, The Hungarian Suicide Duel
PITCH YOUR SHOW TO HOLLYWOOD
"Think Spider-Man all lubed up, without that Mary Jane getting in the way."
-- The company, From Mint Condition To Badly Used
"A peri-menopausal Bridget Jones turns into Shirley Valentine on drugs. Oh, and unlike Renée Zellweger, I won't have to gain any weight."
-- Alex Dallas, Nymphomania
"Finally, a flawless movie that pleases absolutely everyone!"
-- Adrian Truss, Tale Of The Scorpion
BIGGEST FRINGE FEAR?
"My mother files in from the UK and secretly sees Nymphomania. I am disinherited."
-- Alex Dallas, Nymphomania
"None of my friends come because they thought I said 'French' Festival." -- Diane L. Daniel, Bourgee-Bush Woman
"Laughing uncontrollably at the Sylvia Plath show." -- Adrian Truss, Tale Of The Scorpion
That the air conditioner will project louder than I do." -- Ginette Mohr, Cali
Halfway through the show I hear my mom yell, 'How much longer, hon?'" -- Eric Lunsky, Max Fishbaum's Theories On Love
"Getting a great review from Richard Ouzounian." -- Raoul Bhaneja, Sin City
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