Fringe Funnies
beer tent pickup lines
"I'd like to pick you up. How much do you weigh?" Lee Smart and Paul Bates, Overlords!
"Your plays or mine?" Jonathan Crombie, Ouch My Toe
"Hello, I'm an actor. No, wait! Don't go!" Tabitha Keast, In The Booth
"My billet is staying out late tonight." Baba Brinkman, The Rap Canterbury Tales
"I'm the third Rumoli brother." Marc Gorcey, Omie Finds His Way
"I admit latecomers." Lisa Lambert, Ouch My Toe
"I slept through your show... which means I'm ready to go all night long!" Lee Smart and Paul Bates, Overlords!
biggest fringe fear?
"The audience will burst into a pause." Jonathan Crombie, Ouch My Toe
"The beer tent will be designated a smoke-free zone." Tabitha Keast, In The Booth
"Totally bombing and having to leave the country." Dorothy Gebhardt, Welcome To Dumpsville, Pop: You
"Our five intermissions might seem excessive." Jonathan Crombie, Ouch My Toe
"The dense concentration of humans at the beer tent will create a black hole that tears the earth asunder!" Alien overlords Fronk and Exeter, Overlords!
Pitch your show to Hollywood
"Dead Poets are a Menace To Society." Baba Brinkman, The Rap Canterbury Tales
"Like Six Feet Under, but with two more feet." David Tompa, 8 Feet Under
"Aliens has sex with Three's Company while Star Trek watches from the closet." Lee Smart and Paul Bates, Overlords!
"Imagine a prequel to The Hobbit, then ask yourself, 'What were those hobbits growing in the Shire that made them so happy?'" Russell Bennett, The Reefer Man
"I have the financing in place." Tim Rykert, Tim Rykert Doesn't Live Here Anymore
"Green-light our project, Harvey Weinstein, or the next thing we pitch at you will be your own innards!" Alien overlords Fronk and Exeter, Overlords!
fringe survival tips
"You can never overuse the phrase 'workshop production. '" Rebecca Dreiling, 8 Feet Under
"Don't forget to wear underwear under your kilt so you can jump high and still be modest." The company, Catholic School Girls
"On opening night, invite an audience member onstage and eat him. Bad publicity is better than no publicity." Alien overlords Fronk and Exeter, Overlords!
"Somewhere, somehow, for some reason, show your ass." Tim Rykert, Tim Rykert Doesn't Live Here Anymore
