NOW asked readers to answer more than 50 questions (in print and online) about their most intimate acts and wishes. Even within the short holiday window (three weeks), thousands responded. You bared all, and we dug deep to tease out the richest data possible. The result is a little like sex itself – hot, unpredictable and kind of funny. Special thanks to all of you who filled in the questionnaire. You gave us the opportunity to look at ourselves, informed by each other in a whole new way.
By ALICE KLEIN
with special assistance from Ken Huxley, Stephen Chester, Scott Nisbet and Jeff Edmonds
Photos by Darren Stehr
1. Your gender is?
Our survey respondents are 54 per cent male and 46 per cent female, with less than 1 per cent transgendered or transsexual. In the trans group, those who identify as male are included in the male group and those who identify as female are included as female.
2. What general sexual category do you fit into?
Like last year, there are more than three times as many bi women as same-sex-exclusive women, while gay men outnumber bi men two to one.
The transgendered and transsexuals are included in either the straight, gay or bi category depending on how they identify their sexual preference. For much of the survey the term “queer” is used. It includes lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transsexuals and transgendered people who identify as queer, gay or bi.
| |
Female |
Male |
| Straight |
75% |
81% |
| Gay |
6% |
12% |
| Bisexual |
19% |
8% |
3. Your parents' sexual orientations are:
Of the small number who have queer parents, it’s slightly more likely for queers to have a queer parent or parents than it is for those who are straight.
| |
Straight Response |
Queer Response |
| Queer parent(s) |
2% |
5% |
| Don’t know |
1% |
3% |
4. Compared to a year ago you are:
Straight girls say that most of the guys are taken or gay. Not quite, but excluding the commitment-ambiguous, straight men are the most likely to be in established relationships. And they tie with dykes for being least likely to be single. Meanwhile, dykes also have the largest community of those who are ambiguous about committing.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| Still with the same partner |
35% |
35% |
33% |
34% |
| Still married |
7% |
6% |
8 |
17% |
| With someone new |
21% |
20% |
13% |
16% |
| Still single/dating |
20% |
16% |
28% |
18% |
| Newly single/dating |
11% |
12% |
10% |
9% |
| Still ambiguous about commitment |
6% |
10% |
7% |
6% |
5. How old are you?
The vast majority of us are between 18 and 35.
| |
Male |
Female |
| 13-17 |
2% |
1% |
| 18-24 |
37% |
21% |
| 25-35 |
48% |
49% |
| 36-49 |
11% |
23% |
| 50+ |
2% |
6% |
6. How old is your current love interest or most recent ex?
Comparing actual ages with the ages of partners or exes, we found that most of us choose partners who are within five years of our own age. Gay and bi men are the most likely to have an over-13-year age difference. Also, older men are more likely to have younger partners. In this survey the same is true of older women.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| 0-2 year age difference |
40% |
39% |
30% |
41% |
| 3-5 year age difference |
30% |
29% |
31% |
31% |
| 6-12 year age difference |
22% |
25% |
24% |
19% |
| 13 + year age difference |
8% |
7% |
15% |
9% |
7. How many times in the last month have you had sex with a partner(s)?
What ever happened to lesbian bed death? Queer women who have partners are the most likely to be having the most sex, followed by their partnered straight sisters. Single straight women, on the other hand, are the most hard-up. But being single isn’t all it’s cracked up to be for the guys either. Even the queer guys.
Sadly, people are having less sex than last year, according to our survey results. But polling hounds will chalk this up to how we phrase the question. When we asked people to guesstimate their frequency of sex last year, about 48 per cent of men and women said they had sex every other day or more. This year, with a question based on a recent time frame, only about 23 per cent of men and 27 per cent of women fall into this category. To all those who have gotten the big nothing in the last month, check out the great listings in this guide (page 81). You might find just what the doctor ordered.
| |
|
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| None |
Female |
5% |
6% |
38% |
51% |
| Male |
8% |
7% |
30% |
49% |
| 1-7 times per month |
Female |
38% |
37% |
45% |
38 |
| Male |
42% |
46% |
47% |
36% |
| 8-15 times per month |
Female |
33% |
32% |
7% |
9% |
| Male |
33% |
30% |
18% |
10% |
| 16-30 times per month |
Female |
18% |
20% |
6% |
2% |
| Male |
16% |
12% |
4% |
4% |
| 30+ times per month |
Female |
6% |
5% |
4% |
1% |
| Male |
2% |
5% |
1% |
1% |
8. How many times in the last month have you wanted to?
Overwhelmingly, people want more or much more sex in their lives.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Females who want more sex |
69% |
72% |
93% |
92% |
| Males who want more sex |
78% |
77% |
90% |
90% |
9. What is the average number of orgasms you have in one session with a partner?
In the orgasm department, women are much more likely than men to either come profusely or not at all.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| No orgasms |
12% |
9% |
2% |
3% |
| One orgasm |
49% |
39% |
61% |
64% |
| Two orgasms |
23% |
30% |
27% |
25% |
| More than three orgasms |
16% |
12% |
10% |
9% |
10. How old were you when you started masturbating?
More girls start younger than the boys, and more start older, too.
| |
Female |
Male |
| 1-5 years old |
6% |
1% |
| 6-9 years old |
12% |
6% |
| 10-11 years old |
14% |
14% |
| 12-13 years old |
25% |
43% |
| 14-15 years old |
16% |
24% |
| 16-18 years old |
14% |
9% |
| 19+ years old |
14% |
3% |
11a. How many times in the last month have you masturbated?
It's not too shocking to discover that men tend to masturbate more frequently than women.
| |
Female |
Male |
| None |
16% |
6% |
| 1-7 times |
47% |
25% |
| 8-15 times |
22% |
27% |
| 16-30 times |
12% |
32% |
| 31+ times |
3% |
10% |
11b.
We thought you’d want to find out how your sex life stacks up against the average number of times men and women in each age range are masturbating and having sex each month. Note that men get the prize for most masturbation, but it’s the women who take the trophy for having the most sex. (Just a note about averages: none of you are average, as far as we’re concerned.)
| |
Masturbation/month |
Sex/month |
| |
female |
male |
female |
male |
| 13-17 years old |
28 |
33 |
7 |
5 |
| 18-24 years old |
9 |
22 |
10 |
8 |
| 25-35 years old |
9 |
21 |
9 |
8 |
| 36-49 years old |
8 |
18 |
6 |
8 |
| 50+ years old |
12 |
12 |
12 |
6 |
11c.
And we thought you'd want to see for yourselves how partnership status affects the average number of times per month that people have sex – both with themselves and with others.
| |
female partnered |
female single |
male partnered |
male single |
| Average monthly masturbation |
8 |
13 |
30 |
16 |
| Average monthly sex w/partner |
12 |
4 |
4 |
10 |
12. Do you shoo your cat or dog out of the room when you're having sex?
Most of us don’t worry about our pets watching. But judging by some of the sex accidents this survey has uncovered (page 77), all we can say is, guys, if you hang loose with your pets, watch your balls.
13. As an adult what is the longest you've gone without sex?
Male or female, almost 80 per cent of us have never gone longer than a year without sex.
| |
female |
male |
| 0-3 months |
34% |
36% |
| 4-6 months |
22% |
22% |
| 7-12 months |
23% |
20% |
| More than a year |
14% |
13% |
| More than two years |
7% |
9% |
14. Your sex is messy enough to require a:
True, it’s not a competition, but the queer guys are the winners. Looking into these numbers, it also turns out that the messier the sex people of all persuasions are having, the more likely they are to be having a lot of sex. Messy women are also likely to masturbate more than average – but not messy guys.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| Tissue |
24% |
20% |
11% |
26% |
| Face cloth |
29% |
26% |
18% |
25% |
| Towel |
46% |
54% |
70% |
49% |
15. Are you friends with your ex(es)?
If you include the people who are still sleeping with their exes, at least half of us happily get along. However, somewhere between a fat quarter and a third of us really hate the ones we once loved.
| |
female |
male |
| Mostly love ’em |
44% |
44% |
| Mostly hate ’em |
32% |
26% |
| Have no choice so try my best |
19% |
24% |
| Still sleeping with them |
6% |
6% |
16. If you had sex with your good friend’s ex would you:
This is a tricky scenario and one that tests the meaning of love and friendship. Most of us fail. Women-loving women are the most honest. Straight men are the most secretive.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| Fess up |
39% |
49% |
41% |
32% |
| Shut up |
61% |
51% |
59% |
68% |
17. What do you want more of in your sex life?
These are in order of popularity:
1. Intense Sex
Literally everybody wants more intense sex.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female |
98% |
99% |
99% |
99% |
| Male |
99% |
99% |
99% |
98% |
2. Oral
More oral is a yes for most, but true to stereotype, nobody wants it in greater proportion than guys with girlfriends and wives.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female |
56% |
56% |
66% |
61% |
| Male |
87% |
64% |
71% |
82% |
3. Kissing
Chances are, if you're single, more attention to kissing will be most welcome since either the giver or receiver is likely to be in the group that hankers for more.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female |
65% |
58% |
78% |
80% |
| Male |
43% |
52% |
83% |
62% |
4. Sensual Touch
Sensual touch ranks high on the list of desires, more so among women and single guys across orientations. Out of sync are the partnered straights. The women want it most, while the men want it least.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female |
87% |
61% |
74% |
77% |
| Male |
45% |
53% |
64% |
64% |
5. Communication
Well, not everyone likes to talk, but a lot of us really do want more.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female |
50% |
60% |
65% |
67% |
| Male |
43% |
49% |
54% |
59% |
6. Fondling
More fondling. Say no more.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female |
53% |
50% |
52% |
56% |
| Male |
47% |
46% |
57% |
57% |
7. Sex with more people
Lots of partnered people want sex with more people. Straight women and queer single guys want it the least.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female |
22% |
51% |
49% |
27% |
| Male |
56% |
68% |
27% |
57% |
8. Nurturing
Except for partnered dykes, women and single queer men are the most likely to long for more nurturing. Most guys in relationships seem to be getting all the nurturing they want.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female |
44% |
37% |
48% |
43% |
| Male |
18% |
22% |
43% |
31% |
9. Sexual healing
You’d expect sexual healing to be more popular with women, but straight single guys want more than most.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female |
28% |
32% |
35% |
32% |
| Male |
20% |
18% |
27% |
34% |
10. Chakra merging
Almost twice as many women as men want to practise more tantra-like spirituality. But straight single men are more interested than other men in communing with their energy body.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female |
18% |
18% |
18% |
16% |
| Male |
9% |
10% |
10% |
14% |
18. The size of your dildo is:
Half of all straight women and a quarter of the straight men don’t have their own dildos. Are sex toys for straights a sadly neglected pleasure dimension? Maybe, but look at the creativity involved in the found things that readers have told us they masturbate with (page 74) and a world of possible explanations emerges. One thing to think about, though: the people having the messiest sex (see question 14) are most likely to own their own sex toys.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| Non-existent |
49% |
25% |
54% |
79% |
| A lot like the real thing |
31% |
48% |
28% |
12% |
| A pocket rocket |
15% |
15% |
12% |
6% |
| Big and bursting |
6% |
12% |
12% |
3% |
19. If you expel gas during sex what do you do?
Not what you’d think. Regardless of sexual orientation, women are more likely to make a joke out of a fart, while it’s the guys who are more polite with “excuse-me”s or quiet denial. Maybe this is because gals have had more practice finding the humour here, dealing as they do with the pussy fart, the noise made by air sometimes trapped in the vagina when fucking.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| Ignore it |
44% |
38% |
43% |
45% |
| Say excuse me |
31% |
30% |
38% |
36% |
| Make a joke |
25% |
33% |
20% |
19% |
20. How many fingers?
Two fingers is hands down the most popular across the spectrum. But the delicate art of fisting is definitely a queer taste. It’s especially popular among women – smaller hands, maybe?
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| none |
5% |
2% |
19% |
22% |
| 1 finger |
11% |
9% |
11% |
14% |
| 2 fingers |
51% |
39% |
34% |
39% |
| 3 fingers |
25% |
31% |
22% |
17% |
| 4 fingers |
6% |
17% |
9% |
6% |
| fist |
2% |
7% |
5% |
2% |
21. In rounded figures how much did you spend on sexual entertainment in 2003 (include porn, telephone and professional services, Internet strip clubs, toys, etc)?
Most of us don’t spend much. You can see in question 18 how many have not even invested in a dildo. But it adds up. The combined annual spending of the people who responded to this question is almost a million dollars, with an average of just over $200 per year per person.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| none |
48% |
29% |
21% |
32% |
| $1 - $100 |
39% |
44% |
37% |
30% |
| $101 - $500 |
11% |
25% |
30% |
24% |
| $501 - $1000 |
1% |
2% |
4% |
7% |
| $1001 + |
1% |
1% |
6% |
7% |
22. What percentage of the population do you think has sex more often than you?
Most of us think others are having more sex than we are. Statistically speaking, that can't really be true, except, sadly, if you’re straight and single. Dykes are least prone to think others are having more sex than they are, and the statistics bear this out.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female |
62% |
56% |
78% |
90% |
| Male |
65% |
64% |
73% |
80% |
23. What about unprotected sex?
What’s up with that? Get out the latex, people.
| |
|
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Never or only when monogamous |
Female |
69% |
68% |
52% |
52% |
| Male |
68% |
57% |
49% |
57% |
| I admit I have slipped |
Female |
26% |
25% |
41% |
40% |
| Male |
23% |
34% |
35% |
35% |
| I can't help it it's a thrill |
Female |
5% |
7% |
7% |
8% |
| Male |
9% |
9% |
6% |
8% |
24. Have you had a sexually transmitted disease?
This is motivation to improve on safe sex.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| No, I’m lucky/careful |
73% |
68% |
58% |
78% |
| Yes but now it’s gone |
13% |
14% |
26% |
11% |
| I’ve had a false alarm |
9% |
13% |
11% |
9% |
| It’s shitty but it’s still around |
4% |
5% |
5% |
2% |
25. I do sometimes feel uncertain about what is or isn’t normal sexual behaviour.
When it comes to insecurity about what’s normal, there’s very little difference across genders and orientations.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| Yes |
33% |
34% |
31% |
35% |
| No |
67% |
66% |
69% |
65% |
26. Under what circumstances would you be comfortable being naked with strangers?
You would expect men to be more comfortable with sex parties and bathhouses, but sex workshops? Don’t guys hate workshops?
| |
female |
male |
| Locker room |
100% |
100% |
| Sauna hot tub |
64% |
72% |
| Nude beach |
71% |
70% |
| Sex party bathhouse |
28% |
54% |
| Sweat lodge or ceremony |
38% |
43% |
| Sex workshop |
21% |
38% |
| Never unless I'm dead and laid out on a marble slab |
2% |
2% |
27. What makes your hottest fantasy your hottest fantasy?
Fantasy isn’t really a gender thing, but more women than men seem to get hot over the fantasy of connection. Plus, it’s women who are also most likely to be turned on by ideas involving power play. And then there are the outfits – a little more popular with the guys.
| |
female |
male |
| The person/people |
100% |
100% |
| The act |
68% |
66% |
| The setting/scenario |
61% |
56% |
| The nature of the connection |
50% |
40% |
| The power dynamics |
40% |
28% |
| The outfit |
23% |
29% |
28. Women: have you found your G-spot?
The majority of women are uncertain about the location of their G-spot, possibly because it’s called the G-spot but it isn’t a spot at all. It’s a whole vertical area on the front wall of the vagina that has a slightly different texture than the rest because it’s actually the urethral sponge, a cushion of spongy erectile tissue (like what the guys have) wrapped around the urethra.
| Uncharted as yet |
41% |
| Found it, use it, love it. |
40% |
| Yeah, once – I thought I peed |
19% |
29. Women: do you ejaculate?
Bring on the bath towels.
30. Still women: can you orgasm during intercourse/penetration?
Ride ’em, cowgirls. Those G-areas seem to be doing their job.
31. Men: can you orgasm without ejaculating?
A lot of guys have mastered this tantric energy technique on their own. Cool.
32. Men: Have you ever measured your dick with other guys?
Orientation counts when it comes to sizing up your dick.
| |
Male Straight |
Male Queer |
| Yes |
9% |
48% |
| No |
37% |
19% |
| I've only measured my own |
55% |
33% |
33. Still men: are you satisfied with the size of your member?
We like it when you’re happy.
| |
Male Straight |
Male Queer |
| I'm pretty happy |
75% |
76% |
| I'm fucking king of the jungle |
14% |
12% |
| No, I'm tempted by those email offers |
10% |
12% |
34. Do you give your lover instructions on how to increase your pleasure? And does your lover give you instructions?
In every category, more people say they’re giving instructions to their lovers than they are getting from them. Hmmm.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women get |
72% |
77% |
80% |
73% |
| Women give |
83% |
91% |
89% |
82% |
| Men get |
67% |
71% |
67% |
65% |
| Men give |
78% |
85% |
76% |
76% |
35. How many lovers have you said I love you to?
Most people are quite reserved with their “I love you”s.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| 0 |
8% |
6% |
11% |
8% |
| 1 |
25% |
16% |
19% |
20% |
| 2 or 3 |
42% |
41% |
36% |
40% |
| 4+ |
25% |
37% |
34% |
32% |
36. How many simultaneously?
But there’s a significant minority who share the L-word with a multitude.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| One |
87% |
79% |
77% |
84% |
| Two or more |
13% |
21% |
23% |
16% |
37. If you could have whatever you wanted it would be:
These are in order of popularity. It’s noteworthy that among those who are currently in a relationship, the percentage of people who chose a non-monogamy option is fairly close to the percentage who expressed the desire for sex with more people in question 17.7. This group is quite a bit larger than the percentage who have expressed multiple “I love you”s (question 36) or those who include sleeping with strangers (question 40.6) in their sexual repertoire.
| |
|
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Monogamy with one partner forever |
Female |
67% |
43% |
31% |
57% |
| Male |
41% |
32% |
41% |
48% |
| Poly-amory with core partner |
Female |
11% |
26% |
38% |
11% |
| Male |
23% |
38% |
30% |
15% |
| S/he’s monogamous, I’m not |
Female |
10% |
16% |
14% |
11% |
| Male |
17% |
14% |
10% |
10% |
| Serial monogamy |
Female |
10% |
12% |
11% |
17% |
| Male |
7% |
6% |
8% |
11% |
| Many partners no commitment |
Female |
3% |
3% |
6% |
4% |
| Male |
12% |
11% |
11% |
15% |
38. How does your religion or spirituality affect your sexuality?
Connecting the dots, it turns out that religion/spirituality doesn’t affect how much sex people are having, but it does seem to influence how much they masturbate. On average, those who receive their guidelines from religion masturbate the least, and those who see sex as an act of worship pray with themselves the most.
| |
|
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| Fuck that shit |
62% |
65% |
60% |
70% |
| I choose my spirituality to fit my sexuality |
18% |
15% |
18% |
11% |
| My religion messed me up but it’s getting better |
9% |
9% |
10% |
7% |
| I see sex as an act of worship |
6% |
11% |
9% |
7% |
| Religion is where I get my sexual guidelines |
5% |
1% |
3% |
5% |
39. When do you tell someone you’re dating that you’re also dating someone else?
Women are more likely to say you should mention your dating commitments before or during the first date, while men are more likely to believe there are no rules. People who have said “I love you” to more than one (question 36) follow the same general pattern, except they’re most likely to reject a rule book.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| There are no rules |
34% |
34% |
46% |
48% |
| Before or during first date |
36% |
39% |
32% |
29% |
| Before sex |
17% |
16% |
9% |
13% |
| After several dates |
13% |
12% |
13% |
10% |
40. Which do you like and which do you do?
We asked people what they like and then we asked them which of these things they actually do. NOW’s survey wizards have put these together, and here they are in order of what people say they do. It’s an amazing window into people’s desires and how they are actualizing them. Would you have guessed that sex when sober would be number two?
1. Sex with someone you love
This is the universal of sexual desire.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
100% |
100% |
99% |
100% |
| Women do |
100% |
100% |
99% |
99% |
| Men like |
100% |
100% |
100% |
99% |
| Men do |
100% |
100% |
98% |
99% |
2. Sex when you are sober
After sex with someone you love, sex when sober is the most popular sexual practice – slightly more so with women than men. And people are doing it because that’s what they like to do. What an intoxicating thought.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
80% |
85% |
82% |
82% |
| Women do |
81% |
84% |
87% |
83% |
| Men like |
79% |
77% |
80% |
79% |
| Men do |
65% |
70% |
76% |
79% |
3. Sex when you are altered (alcohol drugs)
Of course, sex when altered is going to be number three. But that’s because people are actually doing it more than they like to – especially people who are single.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
64% |
70% |
66% |
67% |
| Women do |
69% |
74% |
81% |
80% |
| Men like |
53% |
54% |
56% |
56% |
| Men do |
54% |
57% |
73% |
68% |
4. Sex with porn
Queer or straight, more single guys are incorporating porn into their sex than they really like. Women and men in relationships, on the other hand, aren’t using porn as much as they’d enjoy.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
45% |
57% |
56% |
42% |
| Women do |
36% |
49% |
52% |
36% |
| Men like |
61% |
68% |
63% |
54% |
| Men do |
40% |
57% |
67% |
48% |
5. Sex in nature
People are not getting to experience the oneness of sex in mother nature as much as they wish. But considering our urban setting, a surprising number are getting out there, especially the single queer men and women.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
63% |
70% |
68% |
61% |
| Women do |
42% |
46% |
57% |
48% |
| Men like |
64% |
64% |
65% |
66% |
| Men do |
38% |
41% |
58% |
49% |
6. Sex with a stranger
Basically, single people are getting more sex with strangers than they want. Meanwhile, half the men partnered with men are getting some, and a quarter of the guys who are with women.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
23% |
40% |
29% |
33% |
| Women do |
13% |
19% |
52% |
42% |
| Men like |
54% |
74% |
73% |
62% |
| Men do |
26% |
55% |
97% |
58% |
7. Sex in public
The taste for public sex is stronger in the queer community. But, much as they like it, queer singles of both sexes are actually having sex in public a little more than they’d like. The straight women who like it, though, are doing it, unlike the straight men.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
38% |
50% |
51% |
34% |
| Women do |
25% |
33% |
47% |
33% |
| Men like |
43% |
51% |
50% |
46% |
| Men do |
26% |
37% |
53% |
36% |
8. Bondage or domination
Queer women are the queens of bondage and domination. They’re most likely to like and do it – by a long shot.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
34% |
60% |
63% |
33% |
| Women do |
20% |
46% |
54% |
24% |
| Men like |
27% |
36% |
28% |
29% |
| Men do |
16% |
27% |
22% |
21% |
9. Non-genital sex
Gals like this a bit more than guys – queer women a bit more than most. But single guys, gay or straight, both like it and do it almost as much as women.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
20% |
36% |
32% |
23% |
| Women do |
17% |
27% |
33% |
28% |
| Men like |
18% |
25% |
27% |
26% |
| Men do |
15% |
20% |
28% |
25% |
10. Fetish fun
Straight women are the group least attracted to fetish games, and queer women the most. Fetish-loving men are equally distributed across the spectrum. But queer men are about a third more likely to actually express their desires.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
24% |
47% |
38% |
24% |
| Women do |
16% |
27% |
29% |
15% |
| Men like |
35% |
38% |
35% |
32% |
| Men do |
18% |
28% |
33% |
28% |
11. Sex in a group
Group sex is more desired and accessible in the queer world – we knew that.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
11% |
37% |
40% |
12% |
| Women do |
3% |
14% |
27% |
8% |
| Men like |
33% |
62% |
59% |
32% |
| Men do |
8% |
35% |
45% |
14% |
12. Sex at work
A healthy minority are doing their bit to juice up the workplace.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
21% |
26% |
36% |
29% |
| Women do |
7% |
8% |
20% |
12% |
| Men like |
41% |
34% |
31% |
45% |
| Men do |
12% |
17% |
13% |
21% |
13. S/M
Queer women like it, do it. Straight women don’t.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
9% |
27% |
32% |
9% |
| Women do |
5% |
20% |
24% |
5% |
| Men like |
14% |
21% |
16% |
11% |
| Men do |
6% |
16% |
17% |
8% |
14. Sex with pharmaceuticals
If pharma includes Viagra, spam doesn’t seem to work. This is a surprisingly unpopular pastime.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
10% |
14% |
16% |
7% |
| Women do |
7% |
12% |
13% |
8% |
| Men like |
11% |
16% |
17% |
17% |
| Men do |
7% |
13% |
20% |
13% |
15. Sex as worship
Once again, the incidence of a sense of sex as a spiritual experience is strongest among straight single men and queers.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
5% |
14% |
13% |
5% |
| Women do |
3% |
6% |
6% |
2% |
| Men like |
8% |
11% |
11% |
11% |
| Men do |
4% |
8% |
7% |
6% |
16. Sex in church
Does a bite of forbidden fruit really connect you with the tree of carnal knowledge? Only a select few can answer that question.
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Women like |
5% |
13% |
14% |
6% |
| Women do |
1% |
2% |
2% |
2% |
| Men like |
9% |
11% |
16% |
13% |
| Men do |
2% |
5% |
4% |
3% |
41. What do you think about when you’re having sex?
These are in order of popularity and speak for themselves. But it’s worth mentioning that those people who are pining for sex with more people (question 17.7) are three times more likely to be thinking of their crush or other lover than the rest.
| |
|
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Lover/love |
Female |
100% |
100% |
100% |
100% |
| Male |
99% |
99% |
99% |
99% |
| What my lover is doing |
Female |
82% |
87% |
94% |
97% |
| Male |
82% |
82% |
83% |
88% |
| Not thinking, just feeling |
Female |
84% |
87% |
100% |
100% |
| Male |
73% |
63% |
79% |
87% |
| Orgasmic buildup |
Female |
80% |
87% |
88% |
85% |
| Male |
71% |
74% |
73% |
75% |
| Fantasy |
Female |
54% |
72% |
73% |
55% |
| Male |
69% |
84% |
70% |
63% |
| My breathing |
Female |
32% |
34% |
42% |
40% |
| Male |
23% |
21% |
23% |
30% |
| My partners loving what I am doing |
Female |
22% |
22% |
30% |
24% |
| Male |
21% |
22% |
26% |
26% |
| My crush |
Female |
14% |
18% |
36% |
21% |
| Male |
19% |
26% |
35% |
21% |
| My other lover |
Female |
4% |
9% |
18% |
12% |
| Male |
11% |
12% |
19% |
14% |
| Bills, work, home repairs |
Female |
10% |
18% |
13% |
9% |
| Male |
6% |
7% |
12% |
5% |
| Cracks on the ceiling |
Female |
6% |
6% |
9% |
10% |
| Male |
3% |
6% |
12% |
4% |
42. Yes, I remember the names of everyone I’ve slept with.
Slightly more women than men have sex when they’re sober (question 40.2). Could that be the reason they remember better?
| |
Straight |
Queer |
| Women |
73% |
60% |
| Men |
59% |
33% |
43. How open was/is your relationship with your parents about sex?
Women are more likely to communicate with their parents about sex.
| |
Female |
Male |
| It’s an open forum |
13% |
11% |
| My mom still thinks I’m a virgin |
15% |
12% |
| We talk(ed) about important stuff |
39% |
31% |
| Ewwww |
33% |
47% |
44. How do you like your showers?
Girls love their shower head, but the golden kind is mainly a guy thing.
| |
Female |
Male |
| With water overhead thank you very much |
39% |
48% |
| With a detachable shower head |
37% |
17% |
| With others |
21% |
28% |
| Golden |
1% |
4% |
| Don’t pee on me but I’ll pee on you |
2% |
2% |
45. What's your preferred method of birth/STD control?
These are in order of popularity. Note that queer includes bi, some of whom are dealing with birth control as well as STD prevention.
| |
|
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Condoms |
Female |
100% |
100% |
100% |
100% |
| Male |
100% |
100% |
100% |
100% |
| The pill |
Female |
100% |
74% |
61% |
72% |
| Male |
94% |
29% |
18% |
74% |
| Withdrawal |
Female |
36% |
30% |
17% |
20% |
| Male |
34% |
18% |
11% |
24% |
| Vasectomy/IUD |
Female |
15% |
13% |
6% |
5% |
| Male |
21% |
12% |
3% |
6% |
| Rhythm method |
Female |
11% |
13% |
5% |
6% |
| Male |
9% |
4% |
2% |
5% |
| Foam/sponges |
Female |
6% |
4% |
7% |
6% |
| Male |
3% |
2% |
1% |
6% |
| Diaphragm |
Female |
2% |
4% |
3% |
3% |
| Male |
3% |
2% |
3% |
4% |
46. When choosing a mate is his/her sexual history a significant factor (assuming everything is copacetic healthwise)?
Attitudes to this one are more defined by sexual orientation than gender.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| I don’t care |
37% |
56% |
63% |
40% |
| It has to be within reason |
51% |
37% |
29% |
46% |
| I could never love a slut |
12% |
7% |
8% |
14% |
47. Giving oral sex is:
Giving head is least appreciated by straight women, which is a little unfortunate because getting it is most appreciated by straight men.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| Something I enjoy |
51% |
56% |
50% |
51% |
| My favourite pastime |
9% |
19% |
28% |
30% |
| Something I don’t mind |
31% |
21% |
17% |
16% |
| A chore |
6% |
3% |
3% |
2% |
| Fucking disgusting |
3% |
1% |
2% |
1% |
48. Do you have sex with someone when you don't necessarily feel like it?
Lots of people do often or occasionally have sex when they don’t feel like it. This group of people is four times as likely as the rest to be thinking about someone else when having sex and 50 per cent more likely to be focused on how much their partner must love them for what they are doing (see question 41).
| |
Partnered straight |
Partnered queer |
Single queer |
Single straight |
| Female yes |
78% |
78% |
78% |
77% |
| Male yes |
80% |
76% |
80% |
82% |
49. If you have one-night stands how do you feel afterward?
More of the people who like and have sex with strangers tend to feel great after or want to do it again. But not everyone, by far.
| |
Female straight |
Female queer |
Male queer |
Male straight |
| I feel great. I really needed to get laid |
20% |
33% |
42% |
33% |
| I feel guilty/start to get paranoid about STDs |
35% |
30% |
32% |
30% |
| I would never do that |
43% |
31% |
14% |
26% |
| I can’t wait until I do it again with someone new |
2% |
6% |
11% |
11% |
50. Sexual position faves:
These positions are in order of popularity. Woof, woof, down doggy. If you don’t know some, just use your imagination.
| Doggy |
30% |
| Riding/butterfly/cowgirl/on top |
21% |
| Anything/everything |
20% |
| Missionary/on bottom |
12% |
| 69 |
5% |
| Sideways |
2% |
| Froggy/legs on partner’s shoulders |
2% |
| Reverse cowgirl |
1% |
| Standing/leaning |
1% |
| Bondage |
1% |
| Sitting/lotus/on chair |
1% |
| Kama Sutra |
0.2% |
| Rough |
0.1% |
| Other |
5% |
51. Have you ever started to have sex and been completely turned off by some aspect of your partner's body when he/she undressed?
Considering our glamour culture, it’s awesome that two-thirds of us were able to accept all the physical idiosyncrasies of the ones we have taken into our beds.
| |
Female |
Male |
| Yes |
33% |
33% |
| No |
67% |
67% |
|
