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Slightly more of us are men (52 per cent) than women (48 per cent). But the women are the younger ones. In fact, just about twice as many women (49 per cent ) as men are under 25. All in all, 80 per cent of us are under 35. The transgendered among us are few. in number (less than 1 per cent) but balanced in gender. They are counted according to the gender they identify with.

There are many more bi women (17 per cent) than lesbians (6 per cent) and many fewer. bi men (8 per cent) than gays (13 per cent). The percentage of queers (the sum of bi and same-sex-oriented) is basically the same for both sexes (women 23 per cent, men 21 per cent). This breakdown on orientation has been consistent within 2 percentage points over the last three years, which implies that if you hang around in NOW-reading circles, you're probably at least 20 per cent queer yourself.

Overall, women are the experimental sex. Only 21 per cent of straight girls and 5 per cent of queer ones rule out the idea of checking it out on the other side. So, dykes and straight guys, if you see a woman you like but think she. may not be interested in your kind, don't give up without a try. When it comes to straight men, chances are quite a bit slimmer if you're hoping to recruit to your team (55 per cent answered "never will"). But still, how straight are these guys? Almost half (45 per cent) have either said yes to another guy before you came along, or still might. And for the gals, one out of every five of those buff queer guys (21 per cent) is still holding the door open. As is true throughout the survey, the queers are on the leading edge of adventuresome – especially the women (96 per cent have or could). But no matter how you usually slice or dice, mixing it up – at least in theory – is the new normal for the majority.

Those who bond exclusively with the opposite sex tend to choose mates who are similar in age (49 per cent two years or less). Same-sex partners tend to have a larger age difference (34 per cent are more than six years apart). Same sexes, different ages. Different sexes, same ages. Is there some universal force obscurely balancing this out? Also, the age difference breakdown is exactly the same for each gender. Spooky.

When it comes to being in love, the most significant contrasts aren't between the sexes or sexual preferences. It's relationship, of course. And nice to see that so many people are in love – especially among the couples (85 per cent). Quite a few more singles than duos are in love with life (39 per cent). And when it comes to the self-esteem barometer – I'm in love with myself – singles score again (29 per cent), significantly outdoing the partnered (19 per cent). As for non-monogamy, the percentage for singles (14) is not that different than that of the partnered (9). But just so you know, those partnered folks aren't all doing it on the down low. Love has many arrangements.

It's so refreshing to see equality between the sexes. Just about one in four of us (women 23 per cent, men 22 per cent) lined up our current relationship before we ended the last.

The straight men have the bad reputations, but the straight women are more likely to have been involved in one of those painful secrets (men 48, women 53 per cent). The queer women are also a little badder than their brothers (60 and 59 per cent). And then there are the many who wrote in saying that they haven't yet but might.

No, single men (including guys who do guys) are not having all the fun. Partnered women are the ones having the most sex (24 per cent are making love more than every other day). What's happened to those "headaches," ladies? As expected, single women are getting the least (79 per cent less than seven times a month). Those single guys – queer and straight – aren't much luckier (73 per cent).

Even more straight women (53 per cent) than straight men (43 per cent) think it isn't sex if there isn't penetration. And our point of view about what constitutes having sex changes significantly with age. Among those under 18, 58 per cent say there has to be penetration, while less than a quarter (24 per cent) of those over 36 think this. The younger we are, the less likely we are to count oral as part of having sex, especially those under 18. My question is, who doesn't want this kind of "non-sex"?

Basically it's through a friend that we most easily find ourselves one step closer to orgasm (31 to 38 per cent). So friends, help your friends. Except if your buddy is a queer man – clubs (30 per cent) and online (30 per cent) do the trick best for him.

I meet sex partners through...

synchronicity • the magic of alcohol • fate • volunteer organizations • Star Wars fan club • camp • at a mall • laundry room • library • in a brothel • incestuous lesbian community • there's nothing common about how I meet people! • dog park • through other lovers • sister's friends • the goddamn theatre community • referrals from public health nurses • speed dating • spiritual community • grocery store • swinger house parties Dairy Queen • bathhouse • newspaper • activism

The truth is, most of us don't care much about the music. We got many variations on "I don't know, I'm too busy fucking," and "There's music playing?"

Favourite genres are all over the map, from Schubert to trip-hop to heavy metal. Of those who cited specific faves, here are the top 10 sexy musicians in order of your preference:

1. Massive Attack 2.Nine Inch Nails 3. Portishead 4. Radiohead 5. Sade 6. Usher 7. Led Zeppelin 8. Sarah McLachlan 9. Leonard Cohen 10. Al Green

Canada isn't considered a very religious country, but the power of prayer is the most commonly sought remedy for boring sex. Among the bored, 37 to 41 per cent hang in and pray for improvement. After that comes faith of a different kind – in communication. No big surprise, this is an approach more favoured by women (33 per cent) than men (28 per cent). When it comes to the most hard-line response, single women are the most likely to be tough and say no way right up front (26 per cent), but partnered women are the least likely to do so (18 per cent). Makes you think, doesn't it? On the other side, partnered men (9 per cent) are about twice as likely as partnered women (5 per cent) to find their beloved boring.

Women are less likely to repeat a behaviour that has backfired on them (53 per cent of women, 68 per cent men). But that said, a lot seems to depend on where you stand in the relationship cycle. Single people are a lot more likely to hope things will go better this time than those who have already found their main squeeze. They have needs, after all.

When it comes to sex, clichés have their place, for example, "Variety is the spice of life." It really is for most (71 per cent). But clichés also have their limits. More men (13 per cent) than women (7 per cent) like it soft and slow, while more women (11 per cent) are looking to play rough than men (8 per cent). Fast and furious is enjoyed equally by both sexes (7 per cent).

Cut looks like the most popular preference for straight women (51 per cent), less so for queer men (46 per cent). Straight women are also the most insensitive to the "abomination" aspect of male circumcision (only 8 per cent believe this). Meanwhile, one out of five (19 per cent) straight men are disgusted by the practice – we are talking about inflicting genital pain on tiny babies, after all. And If you add these to the skin-lovers and throw in all those who just don't care (most of the Other category), you end up with a pretty even chance that any particular circumcision status will be appreciated, given the right circumstances.

No surprise that queer men are way more into receiving anal (49 per cent) than straight men (14 per cent). There's no obvious explanation for the fact that the same is true for queer women (25 per cent) relative to straight women (13 per cent), but throughout the survey, queer women tend to have a greater taste for sexual adventure than their straight sisters. Straight guys, however, are most likely to be into the one-way-only of giving anal attention (38 per cent). In fact, three times more men want to give it than straight women want to receive it. Uh-oh.

The gay/lesbian/bi group of respondents are far more likely to identify as having a sexual community in which they explore and play (31 per cent live and local). Some have more than one. But one in six straight people (14 per cent), regardless of gender, has one, too.

who your community is:

Interestingly, the majority of us (60 per cent) don't know for sure if we really have uncovered all our deepest desires. What stays under the surface and what is allowed to rise up? Those who don't know for sure if they have a fetish or kink are the least likely to be truly, madly, deeply happy with their sex lives (24 per cent versus 31 per cent of those who say yeah, baby. Only one in 10 (10 per cent) is willing to get all negative and judgmental, closing the door with a big yuck. But when it comes to saying yeah, baby, queer women are the most likely to chime in (42 per cent), while straight women are the least (21 per cent).

Men, whether they love men or women, have the hardest time both confessing their desires (22 per cent haven't told their partners) and getting their lovers to give them what they long for (17 per cent have partners who are not supportive). Queer men are the least likely group to have the courage to tell their partners what they want (25 per cent), while straight men have the hardest time getting support from their partners (18 per cent). Deeper data mining suggests that the age when you discover that you have a fetish or kink has a significant effect on your comfort level with sharing it. Those of either sex who discovered their fetish or kink when they were between the ages of 18 and 24 (39 per cent) are three times more likely to be able to tell their partners about it than those who discovered their kink either earlier (44 per cent) or later (17 per cent).

The men – both queer and straight – are prone to longer relationships (21 per cent and 23 per cent over nine years) than the women (10 per cent). But there are more older men than older women among us (see question 3), so age may account for some of the difference. Still, more women (46 per cent) than men (36 per cent) say their longest relationship has been less than two years. And here's a same-sex marriage factoid. Sexual orientation makes virtually no difference in terms of relationship longevity.

Straight men and women are very closely matched in terms of how they feel about procreation. In this survey, a few more men (9 per cent) than women (7 per cent) are actually hot to make a baby. But then again, a few more are glad they .can't have kids (men 7 per cent, women 4 per cent). Surprising how many queer men do want or have kids (33 per cent). Ditto, on a smaller scale, for the queer women (25 per cent). Hold open the floodgates. Looks like the same-sex marriage spree is just the prelude to a gayby boom.

Way more women (26 per cent) than men (13 per cent) give themselves their hottest o's. And it's not just because the men haven't figured the women out. Many queer women who rely on sistahs are still the most likely to fend best for themselves o-wise (28 per cent). Straight men are the least likely to give the top mark to hands solo (11 per cent). Is it that straight women are the best lovers or that straight men are the least gifted self-pleasurers? Either way, considering the next answer, the boys are not letting the quality issue get in the way of being in touch with quantity.

Half of all single men (52 per cent) masturbate at least every other day. So do one in three married men (37 per cent). Women are less motivated. Only about half as many women (15 per cent partnered, 24 per cent single) keep up with the zealous men. Twice as many women (62 per cent partnered, 46 per cent single) as men (34 per cent partnered, 23 per cent single) masturbate less than two times a week.

Women touch themselves less, but a hefty one in four (25 per cent) want to do it more. Men actually do it more, but the same percentage (24 per cent) wish they did it less. That leaves most people just wondering why everyone isn't just doing whatever they want for themselves (61 per cent). But, hey, nothing about sex is that simple.

Alas, porn and the gender gap go hand in hand. For example, the effect of Internet porn on men is huge. Less than one in four (23 per cent) can say they are unaffected. But almost two out of three women (61 per cent) haven't noticed a thing. Most of the rest appreciate the access in some way. For 30 per cent of men, it has meant more time devoted to porn surfing, while another 23 per cent appreciate the way it has enhanced their porn pleasures. Sadly, a number of us – more guys (8 per cent) than women (2 per cent) – feel it has pushed us to a crazed frenzy where our minds are no longer our own.

Most people of all sexual persuasions feel they would happily join their partner if they happened upon them while self-loving (60 plus per cent). That said, straight men (75 per cent) are more likely than their queer brothers (66 per cent) to add their enthusiasm to this kind of moment. Straight women are the most prone to use a chance sighting like this to disparage a lover (11 per cent versus all others 5 per cent). If you fall into this category, please take note, question 23 suggests that, in or out of a relationship, pleasuring to porn could hardly be a more common adult behaviour,

When it comes to responding to the social unacceptability of human fantasy, queer men and women almost mirror each other. About half (45 women, 50 per cent men) say schoolgirl/boy attire is a turn-on or wish they were back in school. About the same number aren't personally moved or find the whole image repugnant but not immoral. On the other hand, straight men and women are the reverse of each other. Twice as many women (22 per cent) as men (10 per cent) are turned off by the dress-up. And twice as many men (38 per cent) as women (18 per cent) are turned on. Maybe the imbalance is because the gals are looking for the older man in their fantasies. Don't know because we didn't ask. But all in all, very few people think anyone has to forgo the cute outfits (1 to 4 per cent) out of sexual correctness

Surprise, surprise, women are more prone to talk to their porn-obsessed friend (30 per cent) than men (19 per cent). And they are less likely to be borrowing from their pal's porn collection (7 per cent versus 14 per cent of men). But it is remarkable that the majority of both women (58 per cent) and men (57 per cent) say it's really not up to them to judge or involve themselves with their friend's personal pleasure.

Twice as many women (19 per cent) as men (9 per cent) offer up a value judgment (it's creepy) as the downside of porn. But when it comes to actually experiencing a negative effect – either in terms of it affecting their sex lives or their view of others – about a third of men are affected aversely to some degree (34 per cent). Same for about one in five women (22 per cent).

The most commonly sought-after experience is definitely a partner who adores you, but women (58 per cent partnered, 65 per cent single) are likely to want this way more than men (37 per cent partnered, 55 per cent single). Twice as many partnered women (14 per cent) as single ones (7 per cent) are intrigued by an unlimited sex budget. Meanwhile the hot budget or steamy sex with strangers grabs the fancy of 55 per cent of partnered men, but only 39 per cent of the single men, who, as we have seen, are mostly pulled toward adoration. But why can't we have it all?

Faced with uncalled-for auditory reminders of urban wild life, a lot of us are either polite or busy with our own stuff. But the urge to play along is strong. Less than half of us would try to tune out the excitement (49 per cent women, 41 per cent men). The guys (20 per cent) fantasize about joining in in greater numbers than the women (4 per cent). But more of the girls (36 per cent) than naughty boys (28 per cent) are likely to get their buzz on and enjoy the experience to its full potential.

Women are the sex toy queens. But guys (37 per cent) or gals (25 per cent) who don't play with something plastic are wickedly outnumbered – perhaps for good reason.

Webcams are still unexplored territory for most (about 60 per cent); those most likely to show or watch are either under 18 (34 per cent) and/or queer men (32 per cent). But don't jump to conclusions: these numbers don't tell us if it's a public experience or just two people keeping in intimate touch from far away.

Participation in Internet dating is the opposite of webcam flirtation. The older you are, the more likely it works for you (works for 25 per cent of those over 36, but only for 13 per cent of those 18 to 24), which makes sense if you think about it. But how do you explain that it works better if you are queer (29 per cent men, 23 per cent women) than straight (19 per cent men, 16 per cent women)?

Almost a third of men (29 per cent), straight or bent, are open to as much action as they can get on a first date. Period. Still, most people of both genders make their decision on how far to go based on the individual situation (50 per cent women, 42 per cent men) rather than restricting the date to "coffee only" (16 per cent women, 10 per cent men). Sounds like most of us are at least going to be wearing our good underwear on that first encounter.

Clearly, lust in the workplace is a critical economic driver. How else do we get up in the morning? The single (51 per cent of men and 41 per cent of women), of course, are the most involved, but, hey, men (34 per cent) and women (20 per cent) in relationships like their harmless fun, too. So what's up with all the unsexy workplaces (35 per cent)? Forget tax cuts. Fix this and solve Canada's productivity lag and staff morale all at once.

Shagging a workmate – some of us must be up to this one right now, because these numbers say it happens a lot (78 per cent have or are). And getting down with teachers and bosses (26 per cent) isn't exactly unheard of. But unless you are a queer man, your chances of therapist, healer or priest are pretty slim (15 per cent versus 4 to 9 per cent).

Love can rear its head in the most uncalled-for places. Where do you draw the line? Our respondents are most firmly against any dallying in the family of your ex (women 70 per cent, men 56 per cent). And messing around among the married scores high as inappropriate (women 58 per cent, men 45 per cent). But interestingly, more people think it's wrong to sleep with the former lover of their best friend (68 per cent women, 47 per cent men) than the best friend of their former lover (women 49 per cent, men 35 per cent). Straight women have a lot more qualms than queer women, while men, whether queer or straight, tend to see the borderlines as more debatable. Nonetheless, love is famously a cross-border shopper.

Oral sex is not safe sex. True, risk is low for HIV transmission, but the danger is greater for syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, hepatitis A, herpes and HPV (warts). Step one is to make sure that your mouth is healthy, since bleeding gums, cuts or mouth sores increase the risks. The simplest safe sex solution for vaginal contact is plastic wrap or a cut-open condom. For the penis, it's a condom, of course. But except for 12 per cent of singles and 8 per cent of partnered people, most men and women put the thought of risk aside and just say ahhh.

Be prepared. Whether it's keeping up with the shopping or mentally resolving, do what you can ahead of time to save yourself from unprotected sex. Because no matter if we are men or women, in or out of relationship, with the same or opposite sex, the majority of us (60 per cent) have found ourselves tempted or pressured to put ourselves in harm's way. In Toronto, those at greatest risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection are sexually active people under 25.

We are an honest lot, and here's proof that honesty can be disturbing. The percentage of those who have pushed another into unsafe sex is surprisingly high for every group (40 per cent). But straight males are living up to their bad reputation on this one (44 per cent). And the fact that queer males do it the least is not much comfort considering that we are still talking 32 per cent. Those who have been persuaded to engage in unprotected sex are three times more likely to persuade or surprise others into doing the same (55 per cent have done this) compared to others (17 per cent).

I guess after the results of the last two questions we aren't surprised. Just nervous. Straight women are more likely to choose safe sex (42 per cent) than queer men (39 per cent). And straight men are the most oblivious to the risk they face from sexually transmitted infection (47 per cent would hope for the best).

Look, most of us would do the right thing (70 to 75 per cent). But a shocking percentage (15 per cent of gay men, for example) would not tell their unlikable ex about an STI they got from them. And 10 to 12 per cent of everyone would use the information to embarrass or humiliate us to our friends and/or family. Ouch.

The majority of us aren't aware that you can have any of the sexually transmitted infections above without knowing it or having symptoms. Time to resolve to err on the side of safety only, don't you think?

This may not be a news flash. A lot of singles are just not getting what they need – satisfaction-wise. Interestingly, men and women are having almost exactly the same experience, queer or straight: 38 or 39 per cent can't get no satisfaction while only 11 or 12 per cent are completely content. Partnered women are the most likely to be purring (41 per cent). And the same number of partnered women as men wish their relationship included more sex (11 or 10 per cent).

Our satisfaction with our sex life is roughly the same whether we have a sexual community that shares our tastes or not. Of the people who do have one, the ones most deeply fed by their sex life are those who actually have to travel to see the members of their community. Thirty-two per cent are truly madly loved up while those who have a live-and-local community are 28 per cent love-happy. Twenty-six per cent of those who don't have a clue about sexual community are also in this group. But those who travel are also the most likely to be completely dissatisfied with their sex lives (24 per cent) – though just a bit more unhappy than those who have no community (23 per cent). Meanwhile, those who do have a sex crowd that's alive and local are the least likely to be completely unsatisfied (17 per cent).

Straight men and women are equally confident of their prowess (37 per cent satisfaction guaranteed). The most sexually insecure are the queer men (only 29 per cent give satisfaction guarantees). The most sexually confident are the queer women. Forty-three per cent say you are a winner every time you're with them.

The biggest secret – more popular among the partnered (52 or 53 per cent versus 47 per cent single) – is "what I think of during love-making." Next biggest, the related lowdown on "how I jerk myself" off. Partnered men (46 per cent) are on the high end of the secret scale on this one, while partnered women (26 per cent) are on the low end. When it comes to other lovers, single women (40 per cent) and single men (35 per cent) are likely to have a secret, but so are 25 per cent of partnered women and 29 per cent of partnered men. I Love Lucy lives – women are twice as likely (30 to 28 per cent) as the men (11 to 15 per cent) to keep their shopping sprees to themselves. The people who are happiest in their sex lives are the least likely to keep how they jerk off a secret (20 per cent keep it secret versus 36 per cent for the most unsatisfied group). Of those who are truly madly satisfied, only 20 per cent keep their other lovers secret, while 35 per cent of those who are getting lots but aren't happy with the sex quality do the same.